TJbash.org: Top Quotes TJbash.org is a quote repository for TJHSST students. http://www.tjbash.org/ 2009-01-07T02:20:48Z TJBash Administrators comments@tjbash.org #1084 http://www.tjbash.org/1084 2005-12-13T05:19:03Z 2005-12-13T05:19:03Z +902

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// From the late 90s, but classic nevertheless...
Mr. McFaden: *walking through a chattering class, very quietly* Sex.
Class: *keeps talking, does not notice*
Mr. McFaden: *still very quietly* Extra credit.
Class: *perks up* Did you say extra credit? What?
Mr. McFaden: From a biological standpoint, that's just WRONG.

Tags: mcfaden

#1734 http://www.tjbash.org/1734 2006-05-10T01:05:20Z 2006-05-10T01:05:20Z +821

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// Talking about the guy Christine likes
Christine: I don't think he's into girls yet...
Brian: Well duh! He's a syslab guy... of course he doesn't know what a girl is!
// Olex overhears conversation
Olex: HEY! I KNOW WHAT AN INTERGRAL IS!!

Tags: syslab

#1652 http://www.tjbash.org/1652 2006-04-07T22:54:17Z 2006-04-07T22:54:17Z +511

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// During Orchestra trip to Boston
Street performer: Now I'm making... *twists balloon really fast, it kinda looks like a dog but it's hard to tell* ... a complex polycarbon!
TJ kids: WOOHOO, COMPLEX POLYCARBONS!!!
Other people: ?

Tags: tj

#1045 http://www.tjbash.org/1045 2005-12-04T02:48:16Z 2005-12-04T02:48:16Z +463

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// In Physics class...
PA: Teachers, please excuse the following announcement...
Dr. Dell: NO!
PA: Will the following students--
*Dr. Dell rips PA box off wall*

Tags: dell physics

#1346 http://www.tjbash.org/1346 2006-01-15T23:47:31Z 2006-01-15T23:47:31Z +430

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// Vocab lesson with Mr. Blackwell
Mr. Blackwell: Today's word is kerfuffle. Yes, I know this sounds funny, and it sounds even funnier when you say it backwards, however don't try to say it backwards. I tried that once and ended up saying elf fucker instead...

Tags: blackwell english

#749 http://www.tjbash.org/749 2005-10-04T02:52:42Z 2005-10-04T02:52:42Z +429

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Brian: I cried when I read this article...
Mr. Richardson: Well I would have cried, but I'm a man.

Tags: richardson

#2845 http://www.tjbash.org/2845 2007-11-10T02:54:19Z 2007-11-10T02:54:19Z +395

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// Upon realizing the lab equipment in AP Bio is leaking
Hannah: Uston, we have a problem.

Tags: biology uston

#2116 http://www.tjbash.org/2116 2006-12-17T03:09:34Z 2006-12-17T03:09:34Z +388

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// During AP Physics lecture
Students: What's that piece of rope dangling from the ceiling?
Dr. Dell: It's a noose.
Students: What's it for?
Dr. Dell: Actually, it's really cool, but I can only show you once.

Tags: dell physics

#1590 http://www.tjbash.org/1590 2006-03-20T21:01:23Z 2006-03-20T21:01:23Z +375

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// Economics class
Mr. Zack: Utility is something you can't put a number on.  For example, I like cheerios more than corn flakes.  You can't attatch a value to it.
John Sherwood: 3.
Mr. Zack: *long stare* This is why I drink.

Tags: economics john_sherwood zack

#1194 http://www.tjbash.org/1194 2005-12-28T19:10:36Z 2005-12-28T19:10:36Z +357

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// In AP Physics, while Raamin and Dr. Dell were arguing about something...
Dr. Dell: I bet mine is longer than yours!
// He starts to unbuckle his belt
Students: !!!!!!!
Dr. Dell: Mine is 44 inches.
// He pulls out his belt and shows everyone

Tags: dell physics

#1369 http://www.tjbash.org/1369 2006-01-20T15:16:11Z 2006-01-20T15:16:11Z +349

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Mr. Torrence: There are two things you should never see being made... can anyone guess what they might be?
*silence*
Winston: ...babies?
Mr. T: Okay, three things.

Tags: torrence

#643 http://www.tjbash.org/643 2005-07-30T06:04:18Z 2005-07-30T06:04:18Z +343

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Random guy: Why is Rudolph's nose red?
Dr. Acio: I dunno, he snorts a lot of crack?
Random guy: ...
Dr. Acio: (quietly) Maybe that's why Santa's Sleigh always goes in a zig-zag...

Tags: acio

#2777 http://www.tjbash.org/2777 2007-10-23T23:38:57Z 2007-10-23T23:38:57Z +326

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// Talking about Angelina Jolie being Grendel's mom in the new Beowulf movie
Connor: Well I mean, it's gotta be harder for Beowulf now.  I mean you look at a big ugly monster and your first thought is "stab it!" You look at a soaking wet Angelina Jolie and your first thought is--
Siggi: Still "Stab i-"
Mr. Miller: STOP THERE.

Tags: miller

#2856 http://www.tjbash.org/2856 2007-11-14T03:00:16Z 2007-11-14T03:00:16Z +311

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// There had been midnight vandalism in the neighborhood. The police were interviewing a TJ kid's mom.
Police: Do you have any children?
Mom: Yes, I have two.
Police: And what ages are they?
Mom: Sixteen, and -
Police: *suddenly interested* And what school does he go to?
Mom: Thomas Jefferson.
Police: Oh, never mind.

Tags: tj

#1925 http://www.tjbash.org/1925 2006-09-28T00:00:34Z 2006-09-28T00:00:34Z +304

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Nihaar: Forget MUN and math team and debate. We should start an FLE club. And watch educational videos.

Tags: fle

#2035 http://www.tjbash.org/2035 2006-11-05T02:28:24Z 2006-11-05T02:28:24Z +298

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// In English
Mr. Miller: Do you know why I wear a tie?
Mr. Miller: It's actually to cover the buttons on my shirt so that young women don't fantasize about unbuttoning them.
Mr. Miller: The irony is, look where it's pointing...

Tags: miller

#1446 http://www.tjbash.org/1446 2006-02-09T23:50:27Z 2006-02-09T23:50:27Z +278

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// Discussing electrostatic charges in Physics; Cliff put his hand near a ping-pong ball which was charged and hanging from a ceiling, and when he put his hand near it, the ball swung towards him.
Mr. Bagden: Look at that, it's moving towards you. Can you tell me why?
Cliff: Because it's attracted to me?
Mr. Bagden: And why is that?
Cliff: ...because I'm beautiful?

Tags: bagden physics

#1632 http://www.tjbash.org/1632 2006-03-31T01:58:31Z 2006-03-31T01:58:31Z +273

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// In PE, while rollerskating
Ms. Davis: Hey guys, please, no studying while rollerskating.
...
Only at Jefferson would I have to say that.

Tags: davis pe tj

#1079 http://www.tjbash.org/1079 2005-12-11T17:16:28Z 2005-12-11T17:16:28Z +270

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Student: Mr. Richardson... does the big red "BS" written on my paper mean bullshit?
Mr. R: It means Be Specific.
Student: Oh ok!
Mr. R: Also, it means bullshit.

Tags: richardson

#589 http://www.tjbash.org/589 2005-06-18T00:09:31Z 2005-06-18T00:09:31Z +267

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Mrs. Chhabra: And so, you see my friends, this is how you solve the equation.
Tom: We're not your friends, Mrs. Chhabra.

Tags: chemistry chhabra

#128 http://www.tjbash.org/128 2005-03-31T22:40:40Z 2005-03-31T22:40:40Z +266

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I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married.  I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?   

 #1273 http://www.tjbash.org/1273 2006-01-10T14:56:48Z 2006-01-10T14:56:48Z +262

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// During TA discussion on compassion
Mr. Torrence:  So, does anybody know what the Golden Rule is?
Jess:  Isn't that like 1.618...?

Tags: ta torrence

#1451 http://www.tjbash.org/1451 2006-02-11T06:34:24Z 2006-02-11T06:34:24Z +261

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// History, simulating Napoleon's trial on whether he was good or bad; Russia is the witness
Prosecution: Okay, Russia. *holds up a map* This is a map of your territory. Now when Napoleon invaded, where did he touch you?

Tags: history

#3636 http://www.tjbash.org/3636 2008-10-26T03:06:42Z 2008-10-26T03:06:42Z +258

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Student: Dr. Glazer--
Dr. Glazer: I lost the game!

Tags: glazer

#1693 http://www.tjbash.org/1693 2006-04-26T16:45:25Z 2006-04-26T16:45:25Z +258

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// In the middle of Spanish, Brendan passes a note to Nolan
Nolan: Sra. Pou, I think you should read this note Brendan passed me...
Brendan: No! I didn't write that!
Sra. Pou: (reading note to class) "Tu madre es gordo y homosexuál". Very well done, the note is even in Spanish! You even put an accent in homosexual! Now, the only thing wrong with it is it should be gorda, not gordo since it is tu madre, which is feminine. Muy bien!
// Sra. Pou hands note back to Nolan, Brendan sighs in relief.

Tags: pou spanish