Random Quotes
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#5186 + ()/30 - [ Report ]
// In Philosophy, John is wearing a fedora and Dave is wearing a bright green fuzzy hat
Mr. Lamb (to John): Usually in movies if someone is wearing a hat like that, they're the con man or professional gambler or something.
Mr. Lamb: And when someone is wearing a hat like Dave's they're usually getting locked up somewhere. -
#641 + ()/10 - [ Report ]
Eli: You know you play FPS's too much when you dream about them. For example, I dreamt about CS1.1. I was a CT, and I had a USP and a MAC-10 at the start of the first round.
You know you play CS way too much when the first thing that you think after reading that is "CT's can't buy MAC's." That's what I thought.
God help me. -
#3894 + ()/48 - [ Report ]
// While talking about time management:
Ms. Rosenblum: You could get wax shower crayons and study in the shower!
Student: "What have you been doing in the shower for an hour?!"
"Studying for biology!"
Ms. Rosenblum (quietly): That sounds bad... better than studying for health... -
#2593 + ()/254 - [ Report ]
Sh4d0wDusT: this kid at disney world
Sh4d0wDusT: was pointing a toy rifle
Sh4d0wDusT: at mickymouse
Sh4d0wDusT: off in the distance
Sh4d0wDusT: and some tj guy walks over
Sh4d0wDusT: and says to the kid to aim a bit to the left
Sh4d0wDusT: to account for the CORIOLIS EFFECT -
#4934 + ()/27 - [ Report ]
// Before class started and Ms. Orser wasn't in the room, some students had been making sexual jokes. Ms. Orser finally appears several minutes later.
Ms. Orser: *sees a student put his pencil case inside the desk* Why are you putting yours in there? You're never going to find it again!
Class: *explosion of laughter* -
#957 + ()/82 - [ Report ]
// During MUN in-house Nuclear Power Round, only the USA, Hungary, Sweden, and the Moon remain
Hungary: ... and we send the flying deer to soar over the USA and rain disease on all their citizens.
USA: Too bad for you, we just annexed Canada, which while adding nothing at all to our overall military readiness provided us with a safe haven from your death-bringing deer. We call upon our army of sharks with frickin' 'lasers' to destroy Hungary from the sea, and annex Alpha Centauri.
Moon: Due to the fact that Santa lives on the moon, all of the flying deer come home to us and Hungary is no more.
Hungary: What?!? You can't do that!
Chair: Yes, they can, but Santa Claus is now dead, so no more of that.
Moon: Santa Claus can't die!!
Chair: Well, I just killed him.
USA/Canada: We now ally ourselves with Optimus Prime and the Transformers to destroy the moon and all of Western Europe.
Sweden: We erect a shield around ourselves to protect ourselves from Canada, and nuke the entirety of Northern America!
Canada/Alpha Centauri: We annex Couruscant and use our fleet of nuclear Star Destroyers to systemically rid the Earth of all life.
Chair: Alpha Centauri wins. That was amazing. -
#1688 + ()/33 - [ Report ]
// Sean's philosophy on procrastinating
"I think I should put stuff off until the absolute last minute. What if I were to die? If I died and had spent my last hours on Earth doing a stupid assignment I didn't even need to turn in I would be pretty pissed off. I believe in living it up while I'm still alive." -
#4392 + ()/40 - [ Report ]
// Regarding Chem I worksheet
Dr. Jones: So we have this empirical formula HO. Oh, that sounds kind of funny. So we have this HO, and to get this molecule here *points at board* we have to take two HOs. Well, actually, maybe they should stay apart. Two HOs together are never good... -
#3603 + ()/30 - [ Report ]
// Testing for pH in Bio, Mr. McFaden is explaining how the solution that the probe is stored in can damage the male reproductive system.
McFaden: So you may want to let the ladies clean this up if you spill it. But nothing's going to wither up and... eh, never mind, maybe they will.
