Random >0 Quotes
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#1221 + ()/22 - [ Report ]
// Discussion in Driver's Ed
Ms. Stetson: Yeah, Massachusetts drivers are horrible. You know, in New England there are lots of those roundabouts... I was driving once with my young kids, and all the other drivers were giving each other the finger. And my daughter asked me what it meant. So I told her it meant you were probably a really lousy driver. And then she started giving the other drivers the finger! So I had to tell her, "Sorry, I told you wrong... " Hey, I thought I was Doing The Right Thing by not telling her... -
#2380 + ()/88 - [ Report ]
// AP Physics, talking about capacitors
Dr. Dell: We are going to take a poll. You have three choices. You could pick the incorrect one, which is nothing happens. You could also pick the other incorrect one, which is that it gets flung out. Or you could pick the correct answer: it gets sucked in. So who says nothing happens?
No one: *raises their hand*
Dr. Dell: How about it gets flung out?
No one: *raises their hand*
Dr. Dell: How about it gets sucked in?
Two people: *raise their hands*
Dr. Dell: *kicks the desk*
Everyone: *raises their hands*
Dr. Dell: Nice to know we're all on the same page. -
#488 + ()/33 - [ Report ]
// Logan is using beowulf (a computer in the syslab)
Alex: You're not using Antigone? You're cheating on her!
Logan: I can't, someone else is on her. She's being raped.
Alex: And so you go off and use some other computer? You bastard!
Logan: The rules aren't the same for computers as they are for people.
Alex: Oh, you say that, but don't get mad when one day you see Antigone off frolicking with, say me.
Logan: Computers don't frolick! -
#4737 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
Corinna: I KNOW that we have a quiz today, Mr. Richardson, I bet you five dollars.
Mr. Richardson: Okay, then give me the five dollars.
*Corinna hands over the five dollars*
Mr. Richardson: Well, you were right. We _were_ going to have a quiz today... but I would rather have the five dollars.
