Random >0 Quotes
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#1615 + ()/36 - [ Report ]
// During a class about population genetics...
Mrs. Stevens: Pretend that we put you on an island and told you to mate with each other.
*Class titters*
Stevens: Now, you would have certain preferences, so certain traits would... What?
*More giggles*
Stevens: Oh! My goodness, I'm sorry. Pretend that you are all Schmoos, and we put you on an island to mate.
*More lauging*
Stevens: Okay! A group of schmoos are on an island, and...
Student:*quietly* Haha, schmoo sex... -
#2766 + ()/36 - [ Report ]
// Talking about the double spaced history assignment over IM
A: what a waste of paper.
B: oh no...I wasted a page or two. The earth is going to explode and global warming is going to eat everyone...
A: no, it’s actually because i'm running out of paper, although what you said is also true
B: make some paper
A: out of what?
B: trees
A: that's true, theres a bunch of trees behind my house. But how am i going to make paper by... tomorrow morning?
B: 1.chop down tree 2. make into paper
A: right, the make into paper part might be a little problematic
B: 1. put log in blender 2. put blended log into a bowl of water 3. spread over flat surface in rectangles 4. bake for 2 hours
A: are you wikipedia-ing this or something?
B: are you kidding? a log would BREAK THE BLENDER
A. Oh...right -
#440 + ()/17 - [ Report ]
vgguy2789: you see, like the many parts of a taco, there are different layers or aspects to this argument; some are apparent, equivalent to the crunchy shell.. but can you not see the beef, the fundamental truth behind the conscious belief of our humanity?
vgguy2789: the fact is, you cannot, because you choose not to see
Lechuck343: Maneesh, stop drawing metaphors from completely immaterial sources, such as fast food.
vgguy2789: you seal yourself away within walls of lettuce and cheese, hiding behind conflicted emotions
Lechuck343: And the whole "you choose not to see" is such cliched bullshit.
vgguy2789: only when you realize this can you enjoy all the tastes that the taco of life and consciousness has to offer
vgguy2789: this is the fundamental truth you must realize
Lechuck343: Maneesh...
Lechuck343: Shut the fuck up. -
#882 + ()/8 - [ Report ]
// In Film Study, about the Wizard of Oz
Mr. Pollet: They wanted to hire Shirley Temple to play Dorothy but she was under contract with another company. She was just so annoyingly sweet that when you see her movies these days you just want to smack her! *smacks his right hand against his left one really loudly* -
#2516 + ()/27 - [ Report ]
Mr. Williams: You know what the worst thing I saw when I went to Japan?
Class: ...
Mr. Williams: Ugh, I don't want to talk about it.
Class: NO! NO! Tell us!!
Mr. Williams: Well I saw these Japanese people making enema art! How disgusting is that? I mean, who would want to buy crap on canvas? Does it come out as a lump or liquid?