Mr. Kummer: That's why he doesn't call it tax cuts, he calls 'economic stimulation', and everyone likes the term 'stimulation'.

Tags: kummer

// Film Maker's Club
Jaskot: Tom, make sure I put the camera back in the bag.
Tom: Uh... It's not here.
Jaskot: What? I'm sure I put it in there! Crap... check again...
Tom: No, definitely not here.
Teddy: Dude, it's in your hand.
Jaskot: *pause* So it would seem.

Tags: john_jaskot

// Talking about publishing our IM conversations
Lechuck343: You know, the more I think about it, the better this whole "publishing" thing sounds. Think about it - if a woman can write a newspaper column about blow jobs and have it become a miniseries, could we not do the same thing here?
vgguy2789: no, because I don't give blow jobs

Victor: What's yesterday?
Lee: I don't know.
Victor: Well, what was the day before yesterday?
Logan walks in: Monday.
(Victor leaves, Lee chuckles)
Logan: Wait, what's funny?
Lee: We know what yesterday was, he wanted to know how to say it in Japanese!

// Discussing various levels of physics knowledge
Student: So what are you, Mr. Bagden?
Mr. Bagden: I'm one level below Dr. Dell.
Student: And what's Dr. Dell?
Mr. Bagden: Crazy.

Tags: bagden dell physics

// During a power outage
Some kid in the hall: The toilets still work!
Mr. Bagden: Of course the toilets still work, do you know what would happen if you electrified a toilet?!
// Mr. Rose walks in, in response to Mr. Bagden's comment
Mr. Rose: Did you just say what I think you said?

Tags: bagden j_rose

Mrs. Craig: You see, when you put all four cubic equations on a graph like this, they look like a woman's breasts.

Tags: craig

Blake: Mr. Majeske! You didn't get fired?!
Majeske: *headdesk*
Class: ...
Blake: Yeah, so yesterday I was just sitting in the hallway, minding my own business, and Mr. Majeske came over and kind of just loomed over me. So I said "Please don't kick me!" and he said "Okay, I'll just kick your bag instead," and he kicked my bag.
Majeske: And who should be behind me but Dr. Glazer... *sigh*
// Enter Mr. Hardison
Majeske: Can I help you?
Hardison: Just wanted to make sure you were still teaching! *smiles*

Tags: hardison majeske

Dr. Wood: So it was very hot during the Symposium, and this girl took off her coat.
Class: *Not really paying attention*
Dr. Wood: And then everyone gasped...because she needed a bra, but she wasn't wearing one...
Class: !!!
Dr. Wood: So, don't act like the salesperson who sold two things at once, a couch and herself...

Tags: wood

// After the MUN in-house conference this weekend
Sophia: We actually hosted our own Power Round where countries attacked each other, and I killed Santa Clause!
Raamin: How could you kill Santa Clause?!
Sophia: What? I'm Muslim!

Car: x86 [asm] is more fun!
Mr. Strong: 'x86 is more fun'...you have a perverse sense of humor.  I appreciate that.
Car: *nods*   

JJBaggins2: aaaaand lunch
JJBaggins2 went away at 12:21:53 PM.
TJWrestler2008: and omg its lunch time
Auto Response from JJBaggins2: breakfast
TJWrestler2008: umm
Auto Response from JJBaggins2: make that... lunch

// In philosophy, discussing Plato's Republic
Mr. Lamb: No, you can't blame individual unhappiness on the state... Unless George Bush is president, that is.

Tags: lamb

Mrs. Gullickson, 1999:  "I'm hoping you'll be able to B.S. your way through it so we can get it over with."

Tags: gullickson

// Latin Class: Ms. Lister implemented a policy of taking points off for inane comments
Lister: What page is chapter 32 on?
Student: Non cogito (I dunno)
Lister: The only reason you didn't lose points on that was because you said it in Latin.

Tags: latin lister

// In compsci talking about computer science extra credit
Mr. Auerbach: I'm being generous enough.
Drew: Whenever you think that you're being too generous, think about the impoverished starving kids in Africa.
Mr. Auerbach: Well, maybe you'd like to join them, eh?
Random kid (muttering): For extra credit points, maybe...

Tags: auerbach

I fail at everything.
If I were to enter a contest to see who could do something as close to perfect, but not quite,
I would get second place.

Sarah: One of my noses is clogged! I can't breathe!    

Logan: Why can't I just hang out in the syslab during homecoming? It's not like I'm ever going to go to a dance anyway.
Michaela: You'd rather be in the syslab during homecoming? Maybe that's WHY you're never going to go to a dance.

Tags: syslab

Mr. Kummer: Be quiet no one cares what you think.
S: I was just saying I like your outfit.
// Mr. Kummer looks at himself
S: No not you... him.

Tags: kummer

Ms. MacLean:  Mr. Kelly, how are you with raunchy stuff in the classroom?
Mr. Kelly:  ... I dig it.

Tags: kelly maclean

*Aman is sitting in class eating a pear, when the pear becomes the topic of conversation*
Mr. Pollet: I told a girl she had a pear once.
*pause*
Mr. Pollet: She smacked me.

Tags: pollet

// Religion
Student: Do we have an atheist club at school?
Mr. Lamb: Yes, it's called Mr. Steuben's calculus class.

Tags: lamb

// In Geosystems, discussing the hardness scale of minerals
Ms. Rhee: Diamonds are the hardest mineral, nothing can scratch them.
Chase: A laserbeam can scratch a diamond! Lasers are harder than diamonds!
Jess: A laserbeam is not a mineral!
Student: It's obvious from that conversation that Jess is the one going to MIT.

Tags: geosystems

//In Geosystems
Mrs. Schmid: And what force is equal and opposite to gravity?
John Sherwood: Ooh! The normal force!
Mrs Schmid: ...The correct answer is the coriolis force
John Sherwood: You know, I think you're just lying to us at this point.

Tags: schmid